As we are looking at more conscious ways to live our lives our love life should be no different. Having a conscious love life means focusing on yourself first and working out what makes you happy and fills you up without needing someone else to do it for you. It means making sure you are making enough space for you so when the time is right you can give some of that space to the person who truly deserves it. It means becoming self-aware and having self-respect so we can tell others exactly what we need and what we want and having enough confidence to make the right decisions for ourselves and to walk away if we need to. My conscious love life journey started when I became sober and it has given me the inner guidance to listen and feel what is right when it comes to my love life. Here are my 5 top tips to help you kick-start your conscious love journey of sober dating:. Honesty is the best policy when it comes to sober dating.
The idea that alcohol helps people to bond is a big old myth. Eavesdrop on the drunken conversations. They tend to involve a lot of talk , but very little connection or engagement. Alcohol makes drinkers more likely to withdraw into their own world. Look out for the fights too.
As someone who doesn’t drink alcohol, it’s not easy to navigate a modern dating world synonymous with drinking culture. Of course, alcohol.
Dating someone sober and looking for a few tips on how to have a discussion around alcohol? I spoke to two experts about how to initiate the conversation and why having empathy is crucial. Showing empathy by listening is the best approach when someone informs you of their sobriety. And often times, that can spark a larger conversation, dating coach Connell Barrett added. We talked for about 20 minutes about where and how she got to that point.
It was fascinating to me and it connected us. She was willing and open to talk about it. I know a lot of people might make up something else. Instead, enjoy their company and let the topic come up at their discretion. How do you plan a date knowing your partner may be sober? How do you initiate the kind of conversation which involves you having a drink on a date with your sober partner? Are you okay with that?
Pin It. Maybe your skin looked so dang good after Sober January you decided to just roll with it for as long as you could keep up the willpower. And feeling loose and relaxed is important when trying to decide if you would ma-a-a-a-ybe consider spending the rest of your life with the stranger sitting across from you in the first hour of knowing them what? You want to act as confidently with your date as if you just polished off a courage-boosting shot of whiskey before leaving the house.
Do not assume that everyone is looking for someone to drink with. There are people looking for a date that have no interest in drinking whether.
It may have been your go-to invitation to tell your date that the two of you should grab a drink together. Now that you are in treatment and entering a newly sober world, you might not know what to do if your partner casually tempts you to get a drink. By keeping firm about how important your sobriety is and thinking of sober activities that you both can enjoy, you will have an amazing first sober date.
While you may have chosen to lead a sober lifestyle, it does not mean that you will not feel tempted to drink again if you are hanging around places that serve drinks. This can mean avoiding places like bars or any other venues that serve drinks. Do your research in advance before the date and see if there are any places in your area that are alcohol-free. You can try to have your date be in the daytime instead so that you and your date can get out for some fresh air.
Examples can mean going horseback riding, having a picnic in the park, going to a museum, or to the fair. You may be safe with family-friendly activities as they will not endorse alcohol beverage sales with children around.
It was my first date as an alcohol-free woman. I ordered sparkling water. I was not, but what did it matter? Did my decision to abstain naturally imply something about me? Yes, in this world, it did. Instead, we sat there making small talk until the date had run its course.
2. It’s surprisingly easy to explain to someone why you’re not drinking. Being upfront is key. Laura Silverman, 33, founder of The Sobriety.
You should know upfront that dating can be a complicated endeavor for people with sobriety. This is because matters of the heart are quite complicated — especially when recovery is involved. Nevertheless, finding a romantic sober relationship can be very rewarding. It is important to have a solid foundation in your sobriety before you start dating. Most sponsors agree you should be clean at least year and work all 12 steps before you attempt to start a romantic relationship.
This is for the safety of your recovery. That means, you still need to go to meetings, work with your sponsor, and fellowship with other recovering people even though you are dating. You have to keep your program as your top priority at all times. Learning to live a life without drugs and alcohol is challenging. Recovery is very much about learning how to manage your own feelings without the use of chemicals. When you really get down to it, when people relapse, they relapse because they want to change the way they feel.
Dating and relationships are all about feelings. With the exception of a strong dose of heroin , nothing has the potential to change the way you feel like a bite from the lovebug.
Which is wild to admit for someone who typically only indulges in wine on the weekends. The first month I kept to a healthy routine of working out and eating righ t. However, after the weeks grew longer, so did my alcohol consumption. It was only eight months ago that I was dating a sober man for many years and choose to be sober with him.
To be clear: he is an addict. I do not have an addictive personality or a drinking problem, but I liked the way the sober me felt when we were together, and I sorta wish for her back.
The person in recovery can vicariously enjoy all the good and bad that comes with that territory, without a single drink having to be consumed. Risking.
We were watching The Lego Movie. But nothing was awesome, and I was anything but cool. I was about to have sex with someone new, without being my usual three vodka sodas at least deep. While little Legos danced across the TV, I tried to ignore the panic starting to creep in. Up to this point, it had been a welcome break from the usual bar scene. I missed having alcohol as a security blanket during encounters like this—how a few drinks could dull my insecurities and make me feel like a catch.
As with any and all relationships, good communication is absolutely vital. Your love life can get even more complicated after getting sober — and more complicated still if you start dating someone who still drinks. Yes, if you want to. You are an adult and can make your own decisions. While some people may not think twice about having a relationship with someone who still drinks, the mere idea may sound impossible to someone else.
Want to discuss? Please read our Commenting Policy first. For many folks, getting to know someone over a few beers is a normal part of dating. She stopped using apps a few months ago, and now meets dates organically. Then, there are other people where that would really not be healthy for them. Instead, she prefers cultural dates, like going to an art gallery or exploring a neighbourhood. You need to have interaction.
Otherwise, it turns into a bit of a job interview. What it takes for relationships to last. Not only are sober dates better for forming opinions, abstaining from alcohol is better for your body, too. World Canada Local. Not a drinker? Full Menu Search Menu.